...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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