Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
50% drunk capacity currently
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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