Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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