Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
