when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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