Dude my mom stole all your condoms
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
my poor anus
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
