Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Green mimosas i think yes
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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