College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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