Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
