where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
