Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
