I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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