Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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