She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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