whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
