Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
