im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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