he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
