Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
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I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
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I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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