there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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