At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
