my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
