I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Is it penis luge time yet?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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