Can Purell be used as lube?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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