Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
