I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
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I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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