Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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