Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she told me i tasted like america
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
