I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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