Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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