she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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