I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
