i permit you to call me
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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