that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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