its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize