So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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