Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
