Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
