i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
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he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
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And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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