Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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