did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
