That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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