it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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