I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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