roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
