I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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