you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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