Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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