I wish i was in the wii world.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
