Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize