Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
