# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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