So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
