In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
