Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
