You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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