and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
