I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
