Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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