erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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