brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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