Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
