whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
