I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
