You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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