So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
