do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
