happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
