If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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