She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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