the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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