i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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