i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
